"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the all-time golfer is a blackness guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss concur the America'south Cup, French republic is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three near powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?" ― Chris Rock
"Well, don't wait us to exist too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear." ― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked." ― George Carlin
"Never get to bed mad. Stay up and fight." ― Phyllis Diller
"I did not attend his funeral, just I sent a nice letter maxim I approved of it." ― Mark Twain
"What the hell is that?" I laughed. "Information technology'southward my fox hat." "Your pull a fast one on hat?" "Yeah, Pudge. My play tricks hat." "Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked. "Considering no one can catch the motherfucking play a trick on." ― John Green, Looking for Alaska
"It's non truthful that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." ― Marilyn Monroe
"Everyone should exist able to do 1 card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in example they are e'er trapped in an elevator." ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
"They honey their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more than interesting." ― John Green, Looking for Alaska
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the center." ― Cathy Guiswite
"Once you can accept the universe as affair expanding into nix that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." ― Albert Einstein
"It's not because I want to make out with her." Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the newspaper every bit if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked dorsum up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that yous're full of shit" ― John Dark-green, Looking for Alaska
"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?" ― Jerry Seinfeld
"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the pocketknife had butter on it." ― Rodney Dangerfield
"Jesper knocked his head confronting the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. Just if Pekka Rollins kills united states all, I'k going to go Wylan'south ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute simply and so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost." Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll simply rent Matthias' ghost to kicking your ghost's ass." "My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primly, and and so wondered if the body of water air was rotting his brain." ― Leigh Bardugo, Half-dozen of Crows
"Don't exist then apprehensive - you are not that bully." ― Golda Meir
"I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in hurting for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "Information technology does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably." ― Cassandra Clare, Urban center of Ashes
"I'm going to wake Peeta," I say. "No, wait," says Finnick. "Let'southward practise it together. Put our faces correct in front of his." Well, there'southward then piddling opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his olfactory organ, and requite him a shake. "Peeta. Peeta, wake up," I say in a soft, singsong vocalism. His eyelids flutter open and so he jumps like we've stabbed him. "Aa!" Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we expect at Peeta's attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets the states off again." ― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
"I cannot get to schoolhouse today" Said little Peggy Ann McKay. "I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My rima oris is wet, my throat is dry. I'm going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as large every bit rocks, I've counted sixteen craven pox.
And in that location'south one more - that's seventeen, And don't you call up my face looks green? My leg is cut, my eyes are blue, It might be the instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I'm sure that my left leg is bankrupt. My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly push button'south caving in.
My dorsum is wrenched, my talocrural joint'due south sprained, My 'pendix pains each time information technology rains. My toes are cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my pollex.
My cervix is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my rima oris,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's aptitude, my spine ain't directly, My temperature is one-o-eight. My encephalon is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There's a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is ... What? What'southward that? What's that you lot say? You say today is .............. Sabbatum?
One thousand'good day, I'm going out to play!" ― Shel Silverstein
"A word to the wise own't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice." ― Beak Cosby
"Did you lot come across that apparel?" "I saw the dress." "Did you similar it?" He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?" When he spoke, I could barely hear him. "You'll endanger the school." I smiled and fell asleep." ― Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy
"If you're also open up-minded; your brains will fall out." ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
"Headline?" he asked. "'Swing Fix Needs Home,'" I said. "'Desperately Lone Swing Set up Needs Loving Abode,'" he said. "'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said." ― John Dark-green, The Fault in Our Stars
"Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said. The horse whinnied angrily. "I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He simply said, 'I will bruise you to death, airheaded Chinese Canadian infant man'." ― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune
"Can you surf really well, and then?" I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh. "Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried." He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this indicate, I was ready to stick the child in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)" ― Rick Riordan
"I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't take the person who was worth all the fighting for?" ― Stephanie Lennox, I Don't Remember Yous
"Never miss a proficient take chances to shut upwards." ― Will Rogers
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